痛、、、

(1984-2010)

This is not the most flattering photo, but it's the only one I took of him in all the time that I've known him. I remember exactly the position I was sitting and how he looked from my awkward angle. I remember what he did before and after this moment in time. I remember the smile he flashed me immediately after this.

I remember the conversation I had with him before this day, about futures, about how he wished the world for me, and for himself, a lake to fish in.

I can't quite put into words right now everything I'm feeling. I just wished I answered that call, and had the chance to tell him. So I'll tell him.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm such a shit friend. I love you. You are the kindest, most beautiful soul I have ever had the privilege to know, and I'm a piece of shit to have just taken that for granted. You have to wait for me. I'm going to do something amazing with my life and you have to be there to see it. You have to design my posters, you have to sit front row center, you have to be there to see it!! I have missed you, more than I was ever able to tell you, and I think about you, more than you could believe. You're always going to be with me now, and you're going to have to wait for me, but you're going to see it. I am going to go on now doing my damnedest to be something, and you're going to be there with me. Wait for me, when I see you next, we're going to talk about it, over a lake with fishing poles. Wait.