There are pictures of spaces I look at, and think they're incomplete. I want to go into them and fill them up with images of us. The pile of clothes would be me, the stack of books would be you, bits and pieces of different knick knacks, our different tastes in things would somehow harmoniously live together. We don't have to be in that picture, and we're not. But in our collective memories, they're there.
I want to be able to walk through that imagined space, to study it and find out how those things fell into place.
Nothing happens the way you want them to. The conversations in your mind, the decidedly cool and detached gesture you make that hints at the pool of sadness you're hiding, the last brazen request. No, in reality you only get the chance to find out what a full pack of davidoff golds look like in your ashtray, and silence.
Knowing what is good for you is never the same thing as wanting what is good for you, because in your heart of hearts, despite knowing exactly how you will be disappointed., you still hold out hope. Hope that you will eventually get the ending you deserve.
Another year, another chapter. Here are my resolutions.
Alice's Guide To Good Living 2014
Do things immediately as it occurs to you, especially if it's something that would only take you a few minutes right now, instead of pushing it to your to do list.
Stay open. Even if this year has beaten you to a pulp, don't be afraid to take chances.
Be the person you want to be. If there's patterns of behaviour you want to change about yourself, take active steps to make those changes. Don't just pin point those faults of yours and accept that those are your flaws. They don't have to be.
Don't live in a place of perpetual disappointment. At some point, something needs to change.
Stay generous, and surround yourself with people that give back to you. Don't be under appreciated, but don't be a bad friend either.
Be courageous. Own up.
Stop over thinking it. Nothing is as complicated as it is in your head. Stop justifying everything you do with deep psychological analysis. Seriously, I am very wise.
Stay honest. Honesty is pretty easy, actually. It's not about the telling of the truth, it's about having nothing to hide. If you want to live a more honest life, just stop doing shit you don't want anyone to know about.
Drink more water. Always.